Monthly Archives: June 2012

“Chances are, you’re already surrounded by mindless, bloodthirsty, half-alive, subhuman wretches. An actual zombie outbreak would just give you an excuse to do something constructive.”

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A Duck Is As Noisy As A Dog

Boys love to do naughty things when their family is not around or when there is no one left at home. May it be in their own room if they have one, but in my case I have none. So I do some naughty things in the living room, where the family computer is located. Well, it’s not necessary you do some perverted viewing in the computer. It could be you’re doing something just personal at the moment, reading some love letters which is so gay if your parents caught you doing it. But in my case, why would I read love letters in the first place?

My point is when we are focused in doing something, we are unaware that someone is already approaching  our house. It would be embarrassing if someone catches us doing something personal or private.

So I am citing some guide what to use and how to avoid being embarrassed.

What to use and how to be on guard when you are doing your thing (naughty things): Pros and Cons

Using a Surveillance Camera:

In most cases a surveillance camera is a win-win method. If you are unsure about the security of your home, don’t hesitate to install one. By the way, Surveillance Camera is such a strong term, I suggest you install a CCTV (Closed-circuit Television) instead. Either way, Surveillance Camera or CCTV, they serve one purpose. Having an “eye” outside your house, and recording what it sees.

We have a small store 50 meters away from our house. Busy as we are, we don’t have all day to monitor what’s going on there. To save time and energy going there to see what is happening, my dad decided to install a Surveillance Camera to monitor what our slaves are doing. It is of course useful, seeing them there, seeing what on earth they are doing in our small store.

Pros:

  • You know what is happening at the moment in a certain area.
  • You are completely aware of everything.
  • You know who, and what are they doing or about to do.
  • You can see them.

Cons:

  • It is costly.
  • It requires some time to install and make it run properly.
  • It’s quite hassle.
  • Since Surveillance Camera is a visual thing, you can’t hear what are they saying.
  • You have to look on the TV or monitor from time to time just to be aware of any actions and commotions outside. (In our case we need to do it because we haven’t installed any device to record the scene which makes a video footage. Yeah, what you see is what you get.)

Using a Dog:

Basically, using dogs is a case-to-case basis situation. It’s true that having a dog is a must, or a necessity. But, mind you there are so many kind of dogs. There are these house dogs, so cute, so small that they could be with you all the time, inside the house, beside you. Thus, defeating our purpose of becoming aware of the unsuspected people catching you do your thing. There are also these caged dogs, or leashed dogs. They are the dogs that I think are the wild ones. They bark when they sense that there are intruders inside your lot, or when there are people outside near your gate. Though they may be reliable, you can’t depend on them that much. Consider your helper, maid or gardener, cleaning your garden. Your dog doesn’t need to bark every now and then to people whom your dog thinks of minimal threat, or just some house people. You can’t be aware if someone is about to enter your house.

In my case, my dog is rather useless. I live in a private compound. Meaning, I live with my cousins and my grandparents, with their helpers and maids living with them in their house. So our dog has a wide playground to stroll around. Not only guarding our house but the whole compound instead. We are used to enter each houses without even knocking, it’s like we are just entering our own house.

Pros:

  • These creatures bark to any harmful people they think that would trespass its territory.
  • They could be a good lookout for suspicious people who would enter your house.
  • They could be a good alarm, thus warning you of any possible shame you are about to experience because dogs trigger you by its audible sound.

Cons:

  • They are sometimes dumb, and won’t cooperate as an alarm.

Using a Duck:

I know whats running on your mind, you are asking me if I am serious or I am just kidding. Seriously, a duck would be your best friend if you want to have an alarm to be aware of any people incoming your house.

So, you want to hear the story why I have a duck in our compound? Well, actually it’s my brother’s. He just won it in some kind of raffle draw or draw lots outside the school, on some street vendor. The duck was so cute, it was a duckling back then. But now, three years later, it’s still alive, already grown up. Can’t believe that ducks quite have a long lifespan though.

Pros:

  • A duck is a perfect alarm, because they warn you of any possible shame you are about to experience.
  • It quacks every time it sees a person coming near, either coming to it or passing through it (the duck).
  • Follows its owner (the duck considers my mom as its owner) wherever the owner goes (just inside our compound).
  • Quacks on anyone who comes near its vicinity,  may it be its owner (my mom is not an exception) or some visitors.
  • Stays always on the front door. You would have no hassle in leashing it to keep it in place.
  • Always on the duty. Even if it is early on the morning, or late at night.
  • Its quack is audible enough to be aware of the nearby people coming towards the door.
Note: Trust me, it’s very effective. I was not caught off guard since then.

Cons:

  • It poops anywhere, especially in the front door area.
  • Plays with the slippers left outside, misplacing the slipper’s other pair.
  • You can’t sneak early in the morning because of its constant quacking.

Useful Application in Real Life

You would wonder why I needed a duck to warn me of people coming to my house. If you have a small house, where your computer is located in the living room, it would not be surprising that when you open the front door, you could easily catch someone doing something in the living room. As in my case, I want to unwind and do some of my personal thing. It is easy as pressing CTRL + Shift + N, Incognito mode! Its not even what you think, maybe I could be reading some ecchi manga that would make my parents find inappropriate or disturbing because we are the conservative type of family. Or I could be stalking someone on Facebook, looking at their Photo Albums, which I think I should have a privacy though, and I don’t want my parents especially my mother to see what I am browsing, because annoying as she is, keeps on asking who that girl is, so on, so forth, and I hate it. That’s why having a duck as an alarm, would be so effective. Every time I get so focused on what I am doing, someone just opens the front door, making me panic as hell. So when you hear the quack of the duck, you could be prepared, and close the windows and tabs you have opened or just simply Alt + Tab.

Good luck with your naughty moments. Enjoy!

 

Update: To clear some vague things up.

Q:  Why in the living room? Don’t you have any laptop or portable gadget or something?

A: I do have a laptop, but no router for wi-fi. It sucks, I know. But we do have a router now, and obviously I made this post when we don’t have a router yet.