Since the day we availed a router, my fucked up life became worse. Now, I always face this computer, wasting my precious time. I am the kind of person who always procrastinate, thinking that I have a very big free time when in fact I should be doing stuff right now. Maybe I am not the total lazy-ass kind of person but I think I’ve had enough in coping up with the world’s ugly reality. I’ve surrender the will to fight this fucked up world. I am thinking that I have done more than enough, that I should be dedicating my everyday to unwind and buy myself some time to undergo some stress debriefing. I am tired of all the responsibilities, the obligations, the routine. I am tired of looking up to people who inspires me, cause in the end of the day I end up doing nothing but wasting my day adoring the things they have achieved, and here I am regretting why I was not born handsome, rich, or even talented. I am tired of waiting for the person who would appreciate my looks, my financial capability, and even the simplest talents I possess. Maybe, just maybe I am a sick person who doesn’t know how to appreciate the things that God blessed me. Or maybe all this time, I am viewing life the wrong way. Maybe I failed to realize that I’m in the wrong point of view towards life. I’m envious, I’m desperate, I’m afraid. I am selfish. I am not like this before, but people failed me. I’ve put so much trust in them, but what happened? They failed me, they disappointed me. It’s funny that I still have the guts to blame them when in fact I should be the one responsible of how my life should be running. I wish a zombie apocalypse will happen so that people will have something else productive to do instead of doing monotonous things in their life. People went to school, why? So that they could find a job to support themselves and later on have a family and make their own kids. Then what happens next? They send their kids to school, why? Same reason, we keep on repeating those things, making our lives a simple routine. IT IS SO LAME! I want to beat that fucking system. Since I was young, I always wanted was attention. I just wanted to be appreciated, I want to be famous. This post may reflect that I am broken, but I just hate how my life sucks right now. The culprit is money. We need to study cause we need to have a job so that we could earn money. Money dictates our life. We became slaves because of money. I was not born in a well-off family. I was not born to be outspoken cause I am introvert. I am weak with public relationship. I am thinking that the best solution to this problem is a zombie apocalypse! HAHAHA. The bottom line of this post is I HATE SCHOOL! Why do I need to wake up so early in the morning and compromise my sleep? Why do I have to suffer this much?! I know the answer to these fucking questions but I wish I was someone else who is much more fortunate than I was. I wish I was rich. God, give me the strength to survive this life of mine!
Just when I finished this post, my crush posted this:
You know, if your parents are sending you to school.. you’re so fortunate. Don’t waste it. Not all kids are as fortunate as you.
Pakkkkk! I was hit right in the face! She made me realize how big ungrateful asshole I am, thanks to her. She really never fails to amaze me.