Well, I have an obsession to this girl. I know, the word obsession is such a strong term, as much as I want to call it infatuation or love, those words are rather mild to compare how intense what I’m feeling right now. I am left with no choice, *sigh* just imagine obsession is a decent word 🙂
Background: This girl is out of my league. She’s a YouTube sensation. Well, her Facebook subscribers only rounds off to about 90 thousands, not including the 4,900 others in her friend list. I just knew her recently, and I’m too fucking late to add her as a friend. By the time I had subscribed to her profile, there were already 82 thousand subscribers back then. So yeah, only within 2 months, she gained 8 thousand subscribers, and still counting.
I am not the aggressive type of person who would be so persistent in making a personal message everyday, doing something desperate, because I know girls hate boys who are needy. So I just viewed her profile in the silence, browse all her photographs, watch all her videos, and wishing that she would even know that I exist. I keep myself from being desperate in getting her attention, cause I know I have so many competitors.
It was about 11 in the evening when I learned how to record audio in my computer. She had this website where she goes online, and talks to her fans. I want to record the screen cause somehow I just want to capture the time when I got to see her in real time. But my computer is not capable of recording the screen, it makes my screen lag. So instead, I just recorded the audio conversation.
The conversation was just plain random, then it came to a point where she shared that there is this person who keeps on sending her personal message. I don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl, but she said that, that person keeps on messaging her everyday. That person said that [he/she] will not stop until she would notice [him/her ]. To make the long story short, I got the hint that she reads personal messages and that’s the only way I could get her attention.
I opened my Facebook and then sent her a message saying:
Donna nagtanong mom ko sino daw crush ko, sabi ko ikaw crush ko. Sabi niya illusion ka lang daw. huhu hindi supportive mommy ko 😦
Donna my mom asked me who my crush is, I told her you are my crush. She told me that you are just an illusion. huhu my mom is not supportive 😦
[The italicized sentence is the actual message I sent to Donna. Below is the English translation.]
During the conversation, I heard her reading my message, and I was like, this is it. Even for a moment, I have witnessed with my own ears that she is actually and literally reading my message. Then without any warning, the most rewarding reply came right there and then. She exclaimed, you’re soooo cuuuuuttteee! And I was paralyzed of the thought that she regarded my feeling as cute 😀 Then I heard a notification sound, she replied to me in Facebook. The feeling was so mesmerizing. So yeah, pics or didn’t happen.
I know that what she wrote and what I wrote above was different. [I am referring to the you’re so cute statement.]But believe me, when she said you’re soooo cuuutttee, anyone who would hear it would have goosebumps because of the sweetness of the tone. She kept on reading my message, and I feel so ecstatic at the moment. Even now, the side effect of the nostalgia is still making me smile like a fool. I am one lucky man.
NOTE: I erased our surnames for security purposes.
I told the experience to almost everyone close to me. They think I am desperate, but I think she’s amazing. Sadly, most of them don’t know how that simple thing matters to me. I know that somehow they made a fool out of me, but I don’t care, she is all that matters. Then my friend tagged me in one of her wall photos, and I’m not sure if she discouraged me because I’m her friend or she wanted to help me realize this because I’m her friend.