Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Damsel of My Dreams

When will I come to my senses? Reality and fantasy seemed to be in unison. I’ve been badly attached to some kind of drug, a euphoria which was embodied by a damsel. Indeed, it’s inevitable to meet that notorious thing along the way called affection. Yes, the culprit was still love. Different names, same shit. My hopes are held captive by this ruthless hope-raiser. I have wasted my time beholding her ravishing beauty, but it seemed that it ain’t a loss after all. How could I claim that she broke my heart into pieces when in fact we haven’t even met? Am I insane? Yes, I am! I am insanely in love with her. I am betrothed to a dream, a dream which only exist inside my head. The girl of my dreams, the dream where I only dreamt of one girl. It’s foolish to whine about the impossible, but I will make it possible. I will find her, and I will love her.

P.S. I exist

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Coffee Day

Well, this is my second coffee shop experience. I have to agree join my cousin to this Friday night adventure cause it’s been a while since I have posted an entry to my stinking blog. So many things happened to me during these past few weeks, so many trials and blessings overtook me, so many stories and testimonies to tell, and billions of realizations running in my head. The bottom line is I need to be consistent in this little hobby of mine because I have somewhat noticed that I turned into a useless citizen to the society lately.

Guess what? I have been granted a company scholarship. So many things ran into my mind when I learned that I have been granted such privilege. Eleven students applied for that scholarship, but only two of us were chosen. I am lucky though. Even though how great the urge I possess to brag and be proud of my achievement, I just maintained my humility and confessed to them that the glory is to God’s alone and He was the reason why I have that scholarship. It’s a biggie though, but I kept my cool and carried on. I haven’t told my parents the good news immediately, not until three days when they asked me about the previous company who was searching for scholars. I couldn’t contain the excitement anymore, so I told them the great news.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One week later.

Since the beginning of the semester, our P.E. teacher was giving us a reward motivated exam. The mechanics were simple. If you will top the exam, you will get the prize money, and be exempted for the next exam, but the score you will get will depend upon the highest score your  classmates gets. Since prelim, I am one of the students who would die to get the promising incentive our instructor proposed. I worked hard, but to no avail, I didn’t topped the exam in the prelims. Long story short, I didn’t have the chance to be exempted for the midterm’s exam. I felt bad. Midterm came, still unfortunate as before, I hadn’t claimed the reward. When everything seemed to suck, and I didn’t expect to ace the exam, I was surprised to know that I got the highest examination result in our semi-finals. I want to pocket the prize money all by myself, but I have the obligation to treat my classmates for achieving such thing. Even though, it’s quite against my will, I treated them as respect and to protect my reputation, because I don’t want them to brand me as selfish. By the way, since the exam was for our semi-finals, I didn’t get the chance to be exempted for our finals. And I hate to think that our final exam is a practical examination. One of my worst nightmare, the escape and release. 

So to lighten things up, to unwind, and to relax, I need to venture this new experience life has to offer. Hehe!

Here are the pics by the way 🙂

My point of view.

Her point of view.

Do we two look cute together? Not! We’re cousins by the way.

The lighting was bad, and I should feel bad. Damn self-timer.

NOSTALGIC WEDNESDAY

Well, I have an obsession to this girl. I know, the word obsession is such a strong term, as much as I want to call it infatuation or love, those words are rather mild to compare how intense what I’m feeling right now. I am left with no choice, *sigh* just imagine obsession is a decent word 🙂

Background: This girl is out of my league. She’s a YouTube sensation. Well, her Facebook subscribers only rounds off to about 90 thousands, not including the 4,900 others in her friend list. I just knew her recently, and I’m too fucking late to add her as a friend. By the time I had subscribed to her profile, there were already 82 thousand subscribers back then. So yeah, only within 2 months, she gained 8 thousand subscribers, and still counting.

I am not the aggressive type of person who would be so persistent in making a personal message everyday, doing something desperate, because I know girls hate boys who are needy. So I just viewed her profile in the silence, browse all  her photographs, watch all her videos, and wishing that she would even know that I exist. I keep myself from being desperate in getting her attention, cause I know I have so many competitors.

It was about 11 in the evening when I learned how to record audio in my computer. She had this website where she goes online, and talks to her fans. I want to record the screen cause somehow I just want to capture the time when I got to see her in real time. But my computer is not capable of recording the screen, it makes my screen lag. So instead, I just recorded the audio conversation.

The conversation was just plain random, then it came to a point where she shared that there is this person who keeps on sending her personal message. I don’t know if it’s a guy or a girl, but she said that, that person keeps on messaging her everyday. That person said that [he/she] will not stop until she would notice [him/her ]. To make the long story short, I got the hint that she reads personal messages and that’s the only way I could get her attention.

I opened my Facebook and then sent her a message saying:

Donna nagtanong mom ko sino daw crush ko, sabi ko ikaw crush ko. Sabi niya illusion ka lang daw. huhu hindi supportive mommy ko 😦

Donna my mom asked me who my crush is, I told her you are my crush. She told me that you are just an illusion. huhu my mom is not supportive 😦

[The italicized sentence is the actual message I sent to Donna. Below is the English translation.]

During the conversation, I heard her reading my message, and I was like, this is it. Even for a moment, I have witnessed with my own ears that she is actually and literally reading my message. Then without any warning, the most rewarding reply came right there and then. She exclaimed, you’re soooo cuuuuuttteee! And I was paralyzed  of the thought that she regarded my feeling as cute 😀 Then  I heard a notification sound, she replied to me in Facebook. The feeling was so mesmerizing. So yeah, pics or didn’t happen.

 

 

 

 

 

I know that what she wrote and what I wrote above was different. [I am referring to the you’re so cute statement.]But believe me, when she said you’re soooo cuuutttee, anyone who would hear it would have goosebumps because of the sweetness of the tone. She kept on reading my message, and I feel so ecstatic at the moment. Even now, the side effect of the nostalgia is still making me smile like a fool. I am one lucky man.

NOTE: I erased our surnames for security purposes.

I told the experience to almost everyone close to me. They think I am desperate, but I think she’s amazing. Sadly, most of them don’t know how that simple thing matters to me. I know that somehow they made a fool out of me, but I don’t care, she is all that matters. Then my friend tagged me in one of her wall photos, and I’m not sure if she discouraged me because I’m her friend or she wanted to help me realize this because I’m her friend.